When we crossed the line where we were Unlost, and then Lost – did we really take in any of the scenery that was around us? Probably not. Because the most scenic things that we missed along the way didn’t really matter at that point. So, the question is: What does matter, now?
When we sense loss or failure, our swift resolve or need to reproduce something, anything, or quickly find our way – is solely for us to seemingly remain adequate towards some preconceived ideals; or is the term ‘struggle to hold it together’ more accurate? But what is it that we’re trying to maintain. Is it someone else’s idea? A drive to be successful? To eventually get to a life of ease?
The driving assumptions we develop growing up, along with some of the fairy tale ideas about a dreamy future and grandeur models for a better life, will often end up as absolutely mistaken at some point.
So, is there a difference between struggling to get it together and arriving in the town of Uncertain and Unknown? It’s certain neither of these choices were our destination when starting out, but after having arrived they seem quite similar.
When I answer calls and requests, I never say “what do you want?” rather, I ask “how can I help?” Because people know what they want, and where and why they’re going to where they’re headed. I don’t need to give confusion; I just need to give directions.
Adam, in the Garden of Eden was given the task to name the animals. He named all that was brought before him and as he saw them. 
(Gen. 2:19) Don’t miss this. You and I do the same thing. That’s how most internal thoughts become our mental model for how we see things when brought to us in the transition of life, and then just naming them. You and I must be careful when we name ourselves with negative words such as “victim”, “poor childhood”, “it’s not my fault”, etc., these kind of mental models or empty frameworks won’t help us in a time of instability. They’ll just help us crash.
Firstly, you must learn to accept and embrace the uncertainties that life presents. Understand that not everything is within your control, and that it’s okay to not have all the answers. The reason this embracing can be liberating is that – it helps one to focus on what you can control now.
The time for being proactive, and not reactive is now. Now, you need to pay attention to the scenery. Seek support. Whether in groups, church setting, family, even someone who can provide guidance or a listening ear. The main thing is, you’re not alone.
Set for yourself small goals. If you’re going to gain focus, you need to know what matters. By breaking down the larger tasks into smaller, more manageable tasks this can help to narrow the focus of achievement. Doing this may give a sense of control or regaining direction as you shift new gears with the encouragement from those around you – staying in the way of opportunity at each turn.
In fact, what you’re going through isn’t even about you. It’s learning the evaluated choices, and how to help the next person; and if necessary, don’t hold back in perhaps celebrating along with each decision.
Next time, we’ll talk about decision making and what goes into evaluated choices, along with how new perspectives can help you to navigate the remainder of the journey in life better. The world ahead is always going to be different from the one behind. That assures us (as much as scares us) we’re going the right way.
