We often set out on our life journeys with clear goals, dreams, and ambitions. We imagine ourselves climbing career ladders, building families, traveling the world, or making a difference. But what happens when, in the pursuit of these dreams, we experience more than just an intellectual shift?
Mary (fictional) always dreamed of becoming a renowned architect, sketching skyscrapers as a child and earning top honors in college. Landing her dream job, she climbed the ladder, and traveled the world. But one evening,while standing atop a completed building, she felt strangely empty – city lights below seemed distant, her achievements suddenly hollow.
In that quiet moment, Mary realized her heart longed for something deeper. Some connection. Just simplicity, and purpose beyond all those mechanical blueprints. She left her firm for a small town, and after spending a long while being emptied of her former perspective built around drive and pursuit, she began designing community spaces that brought people together, instead of making them feel alone inside the landmark pinnacles that dotted the unforgiving city skyline.
So here’s a major question you might be asking or experiencing right now. What if chasing our ambitions all of a sudden leads to turmoil that turns our world completely upside down on our identity, purpose, and understanding?
Well, here’s how to recognize and navigate those transformative moments—and why they might be the best thing that ever happens to you.
Recognize the Signs of Upheaval
A total life convulsion rarely announces itself in little fanfare. Rather, it more than often begins with real discomfort – even a sour stomach. Over time you adjust to a malady. Give it its own comfy space in your life until the shift begins to turn a bit more into a physical interruption.
Some experts point to such life changes as initial indicators of life crisis. The fact that your job could be actually making you physically sick might be to the extreme, but you also start questioning what you’ve always believed and your old motivations lose their power. Success doesn’t satisfy you the way you thought it would, and you more frequently feel drawn to something new, but can’t quite seem to name it.
This is more than a midlife crisis or a fleeting doubt. It’s a deep shift in who you are and what matters to you.
When you experience this type disruption and recognize how much your past purposes are shaken, it’s natural to feel some loss and it’s time to take inventory. You might even grieve a little bit since your former person has seemed to have died. The person you thought you were, the dreams you once held dear. Gone. The relationships or communities you were once so familiar and comfortable with – no longer fit.
Each of us needs a retreat to the wilderness. And when I say wilderness it doesn’t have to be on a Saharan safari, or a wandering like the children of Israel, or to the dire and unforgiving tundra in Siberia. No. You may seriously need a season of solitude or reflection.
This could mean: Leaving behind the familiar for a time, to seek clarity and renewal in solitude. A place where you unlearn old patterns and discover new truths about yourself.
If when looking with intent, you’ll find meaning in the unexpected places: service, creativity, relationships, or spiritual growth. While there ask yourself, “What matters?” “What values do I want to live by?” “How can I pour into someone else, not through my successes – but my failures?” “What do I want them to say at my funeral someday?”
Whatever you and I may call that that safe place, don’t allow it to become a place of dread or fear, but a personal sanctuary in which your senses of awe and wonder have now become heightened. Rejuvenation often happens away from the controlled environments we had so easily mastered for our own safety and securities.
Transformation can be lonely, but you don’t have to go it alone. Honest conversations can help you process your journey and find encouragement. Get involved in a small group, or an accountability group and share your fears. Only those who have real courage will share how scared they really are. The remainder that keep quiet are still working on their insecurities.
Listen, you don’t have to have everything figured out. Start by:
- Experimenting with new activities or roles
- Setting small, achievable goals aligned with your new sense of purpose
- Being open to failure and learning along the way
Pursuing your dreams may not lead where you expect. In fact, it could lead you to question everything—and that’s okay. Because in the end, you may discover that the greatest dream isn’t achieving a goal, but becoming the person you were always meant to be. You see, in pursuing her dreams, Mary hadn’t just changed her career—she had discovered a new sense of self, meaning, and purpose.
